Archive for April 18, 2013

Helicobacter Pylori

I could barely, try the famous moonwalk. Stop me at Cassar would mean breaking some phalanxes and probably a facial collision with the floor. So be honest, is the only step of the popularized by Michael Jackson that could flawlessly imitate the touch me the genitals and yell-in English, of course-ooh. But I remember in the Moonwalker film, the mister is transformed into a futuristic model car and, although they believe it or not, this step also leaving me, somehow. It was already then sitting with doctor of the private clinic which I threw one one exams that I needed to do me: and then te haces a breath test and finally a lactose intolerance. Then you come with the five outcomes and we talked.

So after some taken out of blood and breath, was I sitting at 8 in the morning, hoping to make the last test of the deck. Beginnin nomas, everything is routine. Dreamer I. The aforementioned test consists of taking a glass of 50 grams of lactose (dissolved in water) and go blowing every half hour a small paper bag. The trick is that this blowing out what level of tolerance (or intolerance, if you are of those who see the half empty glass) you have. But explain this a little better. If you’re not able to assimilate lactose, who will do it will be a few very nice bacteria that live in extraordinary harmony in your intestine. Yes, as pretty and workers are calling them the intestinal flora.

But in return, because there is no free lunch, they produce hydrogen. And therein lies the best kept secret of my dance steps. How so? Patience, young Jedi. Because walking through the streets of Madrid, I got enlightenment, as when gets to a musician, from nowhere, a melody in his head. And well, this time the melody was quite distorted, the amplifier is saturated to the maximum. And then all tallied. The sound of tank truck was actually the sound of a Ferrari afinadito. The combustion process carried out by a few beautiful similar bacteria to a V12 engine and I, emulating Michael Jackson, I turned into a beautiful car of futuristic model, wandering around Madrid at speeds not allowed. All tallied, my friend, everything. And sounded, of course, Speed Demon. But what happened to hydrogen? Simple. Hydrogen, methane and other gaseous entities are sent directly to contribute to these charitable causes of global warming and the greenhouse effect, through the exhaust pipe. But so much wonder had to have his trick. And the trick was that I was tuned. When I went to pick up the results of one of my many exams, I learned that my cute bacteria were receiving help from another call Helicobacter Pylori, Pyli for friends. But here is the detail: If the result of the exam comes out equal or greater than 2.5%, is positive. I had ta-ta-ta-tan, 14%. I mean, I didn’t have a few bacteria, not Mr. I had a colony. What colony, a metropolis. But unfortunately, as that it was detrimental to my extraordinary health, there was that delete it. So, here I am, one human, that occasionally lets his routine life for disobeying medical instructions, consume how much lactose is in the supermarket products and become a beautiful Ferrari’s classic model (without Pyli no Futurism) and V12 engine, ready to walk the streets of the city at illegal speeds. And you know what sounds on the radio. Turn it up! The end.